Writing a Eulogy When English Isn't Your First Language

You have been asked to speak about someone you loved, and the service is going to be in English — a language you use every day, but not the one that holds your deepest feelings. Maybe you grew up speaking Tagalog, or Spanish, or Mandarin, or Arabic, or Yoruba, or Polish. Maybe the person you are honoring spoke that same first language, and most of your memories of them live in words English does not quite have.

Writing a eulogy when English isn't your first language is one of the hardest writing tasks there is. You are grieving, and you are also being asked to grieve in a second register. This guide will walk you through how to draft, translate, and deliver a eulogy that sounds like you — accent, pauses, and all.

Start in the Language You Think In

Here's the thing: a eulogy starts as thinking, not writing. And you do not think in your second language. Most bilingual speakers do their deepest thinking — especially about family, childhood, and grief — in the language of home.

So begin there.

Sit down with a notebook, open a blank document, and write about the person in whichever language comes first. Do not worry about grammar, structure, or whether anyone else will ever read it. Write the memories. Write the things they said. Write the smells of their house, the sound of their laugh, the nickname only they used for you.

You are not writing a eulogy yet. You are gathering raw material.

Translating What You Wrote

Once you have pages of notes in your first language, you can start building the English version. A few principles.

Translate for Meaning, Not Word-for-Word

Some phrases do not translate. Sobremesa in Spanish — the long conversation after a meal when nobody wants to leave the table. Saudade in Portuguese — the ache of missing something beautiful. Hiraeth in Welsh. Tok-tok in Korean family language. When you hit a word like this, do not force an English equivalent that misses the point.

You have two good options:

• Keep the original word and explain it. "My grandmother built her whole life around sobremesa — the hour after dinner when the dishes sit dirty and nobody is in a hurry to leave the table. It was her favorite part of every day."
• Describe the feeling instead of naming it. "There is a word in my language for the particular sadness of missing something beautiful. I did not understand it until now."

Either way, the reader learns something. That is better than a flat English substitute.

Watch for False Friends

Certain words look the same in two languages but mean different things. A Spanish speaker writing "embarrassed" might accidentally use embarazada (pregnant) in a moment of stress. A French speaker might use éventuellement (eventually) when they mean "possibly." Read your translation out loud to a native English speaker before the service, just to catch anything that landed sideways.

Keep Sentence Length Short

Many languages — Spanish, Russian, Arabic, German — tolerate much longer sentences than English does. A beautiful, flowing paragraph-long sentence in your first language often reads as clumsy when rendered word-for-word into English.

Break long sentences into two or three shorter ones. It will feel abrupt to you. It will read as clear to the English-speaking audience.

Using Both Languages in the Same Eulogy

You do not have to pick one. A eulogy that uses both languages can be the most moving kind, especially at funerals where part of the family speaks your first language and part does not.

A few structures that work well:

• Open in your first language, continue in English. A short opening phrase, a prayer, or a line the deceased used to say. Then translate it for the room and continue in English.
• Alternate paragraphs. Say a line in your first language, then the same line in English. Works well for short, poetic passages.
• Quote the person in their own language. If your mother always said "No te preocupes, mi amor" — say it in Spanish. Then translate: "Don't worry, my love."

Here is an example of what that can sound like.

"When I was small and scared, my father would put his hand on my head and say, 'Khoda negahdar-et bashe.' It means, 'May God watch over you.' He said it when I went to school. He said it when I moved to another country for work. He said it on the phone the night before he died, and I did not know it would be the last time. I will say it now for him. Khoda negahdar-et bashe, baba jan. May God watch over you."

What to Do About Your Accent

Nothing. Your accent is not a flaw. It is the evidence of a whole life — of the place you came from, the family who raised you, the decision you or your parents made to build a life in another country. The people who loved the person you are honoring will hear that accent and hear home.

What matters for delivery is not how you sound but whether people can understand you. Two things help:

• Slow down. Speak about twenty percent slower than feels natural. Nervous speakers in a second language speed up, which is exactly the thing that makes an accent harder to follow. A slower pace reads as considered, not awkward.
• Print big. Use 16-point font or larger. If you stumble over a word, your eye can find the line again quickly.

Do not apologize for your English at the start of the speech. Do not say, "I'm sorry, English is not my first language." The audience already knows, and the apology just calls attention to something nobody cares about. Start with what you came to say.

For more on length and pacing that applies to any eulogy, see our practical guide on eulogy length.

When to Ask Someone Else to Read

Sometimes the right choice is to have someone else deliver part or all of the English version. This is not a failure. Plenty of families do it.

Situations where a co-reader makes sense:

• The emotion is too heavy to get through a full speech.
• You want to deliver the eulogy primarily in your first language, with an English version read alongside.
• You are a newer English speaker and want the written words to land clearly for non-bilingual family members.
• You have lost your voice — sometimes grief does that literally.

A co-reader can be a cousin, a sibling, a bilingual friend, or a member of the clergy. Hand them a printed script with any phonetic guides they might need for names and places. Ask them to read at the same pace you would.

Sample Passages

Three short examples you can adapt. Each is about 120 words, or roughly one minute spoken.

Bilingual opening (Spanish and English):

"Mi abuela tenía una frase para todo. My grandmother had a phrase for everything. When you were too young to understand, she would say, 'Cuando seas mayor, lo entenderás.' When you are older, you will understand. When you were older and still did not understand, she would say it again, louder, like it was your fault. Most of what I know about being a person in this world came from her, in two languages, usually at the kitchen table. I miss her kitchen. I miss her Spanish, which was faster and funnier than anyone else's. I miss the way she said my name, which no one in this country has ever said correctly."

Untranslatable word, explained:

"There is a word in Korean, jeong, that means the slow, quiet love that builds between people who spend years in each other's lives. It is not romantic love. It is not friendship exactly. It is the thing that makes you cry at the funeral of a neighbor you only waved at for thirty years. My father had jeong with everyone. The mailman. The woman at the corner store. The cousins he only saw at weddings. That is why this room is full today. Not because of what he did, but because of how he stayed. He stayed."

Quoting the person in their language:

"My mother used to say, 'Tout va bien.' Everything is fine. She said it when things were fine. She said it when the car broke down, when the power went out, when my sister was sick for a week straight. Tout va bien was not a description. It was a decision. She decided everything was fine, and then she went and made it fine. I do not have her talent for that. Not yet. But I heard her say it enough times that I think the words are in me somewhere. I am going to need them."

A Short Drafting Checklist

When you are close to a final draft, run through this list:

1. Did I write in my first language first?
2. Have I translated for meaning, not word-for-word?
3. Are my sentences short enough for English readers?
4. Have I kept at least one phrase in my first language, with a translation?
5. Have I had a native English speaker read it aloud to catch anything unclear?
6. Is it under the time limit the family agreed on?
7. Did I print it in a large font, single-sided, on paper?

Frequently Asked Questions

Should I write the eulogy in my first language and then translate it?

Yes, usually. Draft it in the language you think and feel in, then translate. The emotional weight lands better when you start from the words that come naturally. Translation is a second step, not the first.

Is it okay to include phrases in my native language during the eulogy?

Truly. A line from a parent's favorite saying, a prayer, or a term of endearment in your first language can be the most honest part of the whole speech. Say the phrase, then briefly translate it so English-speaking listeners are included.

What if I worry about my accent or pronunciation?

Your accent is not a problem — it is part of who you are and part of who the person was who raised you. Speak slowly, print your script in large font, and do not apologize for how you sound. Clear beats accentless every time.

Can someone else read the eulogy in English for me?

Yes. Many families use a co-reader for exactly this reason. You can read part in your first language and have a relative read the English translation, or hand it off entirely. Neither is a lesser choice.

How long should a bilingual eulogy be?

If you are delivering it in two languages, count the time for both and stay under ten minutes total. A single-language eulogy runs three to seven minutes. Bilingual delivery doubles the reading time, so the written text should be shorter to compensate.

Ready to Write Your Eulogy?

Writing a eulogy when English isn't your first language takes courage most people never think about. You are grieving, and you are doing it across two languages at once. You do not have to carry the whole weight alone.

If you would like help drafting a eulogy that sounds like you and works for your audience, our eulogy writing service can build a first version from your answers to a few simple questions. You can write to us in your first language or in English — we will work with whatever feels right, and help you land on words that honor the person you loved.